Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Super Yummy Delicious Hour

Okay okay! So I like to cook. May might kill me in my sleep tonight if I don't put up my cooking feature post. We've actually been planning it for months now and she's been awesome enough to even plan ahead and take pictures of some of the various meals I've concocted throughout our time together. But me....well, I procrastinate. A lot. Really, I wonder how I ever get anything done.

But here I am and I'm writing something for the blog. I'm not exactly sure which recipe I'm going to put up, but I am sure that we'll both know it when I get there. ;)

I'm not so sure how I'm going to proceed with my feature yet, either. That's all part of my process, though. *Yeah, that sounds good...let's go with that* I'm thinking I'll just put out random recipes of things we've eaten lately. I know, 'sounds' super exciting...but I promise it will be! ;) We eat awesome stuff at the compound. In fact, you might say that our house has the best meals you can find in all of Compoundia. I frequently cook for the compoundian society's elite. ;p

I've been at a minor disadvantage, though. Our oven broke and, in protest, I've stopped using it. At first I wasn't so enthusiastic about the idea. I like to use my oven. It makes me feel warm inside. It makes me feel warm outside, too, but that's only good in the winter. I wasn't a stranger to my slow cooker, but up until now I'd really only ever used it to cook roasts & chickens, never anything complicated. I'd always mooned over the many recipes I have that require a deep fryer, too, but unfortunately I'd never owned one. But as circumstance would have it, right around the time my oven broke down my mom gave me her old deep fryer(*and when I say old, I mean it. I lived with this woman for 17 years and I never even knew we owned it!*). So that opened up a whole new aspect in cooking for me. I may be without oven at the moment, but I've used this experience to expand my cooking horizons by making better use of the tools available to me and not 'relying' on my traditional method of preparing food.

Recently, the governing body of Compoundia has been favouring my Home Made-Ish Taquitos. I made this dish in honor of Karloff's love of Mexican food and it has quickly become a national favourite, or "craze" if you will. It very simple to prepare and the recipe is very flexible. I say it's home made-ish because I'm not going to bother to cook a roast when I can buy one pre-cooked and because I'm not going to make flour tortillas (May does it better anyway). It's also nice if you can get a Tex-Mex shredded cheese mix. Like I said, though...the meal is very flexible so you could use any kind of cheese you'd like, I imagine. Just make sure to pick a cheese that will stand up to some melting and isn't going to go all weird if you heat it up too much.

So you'll need - that's right, you guessed it - a deep fryer for this recipe! I feel a little guilty inside right now because I think of all that time that I didn't have a deep fryer and wanting to try so many recipes that needed one and feeling crappy about it. I hope I'm not making anyone else feel like that right now. Awww! I'm sorry! Don't cry, I'll make you taquitos! I can send them to you by mail....

Okay, no really start off by marinating the meat. It depends on what kind of meat you have, I guess. For beef I'd use some marinating steaks (y'know, the really thin ones) cut up into very thin fajita-like strips, poke some holes in them and let them sit in some kind of spicy marinade. I'd do this for a minimum of an hour before you cook them, but the more time they marinade the more flavour the meat will have. If you don't have a marinade you can add hot sauce to your meat once it's cooked. Of course, you can marinade cooked meat as well. In point of fact, I prefer to use shredded roast chicken in a Club House Tex-Mex marinade. It's just a spice you add to the chicken along with some oil and vinegar, but nineteen out of twenty Helens agree - it makes a big difference!

That's pretty much all the preparation you need. Turning on the deep fryer helps since things don't seem to cook so fast when it's off. Putting the taquitos together is easy. You put a little bit of meat and cheese and the edge of one of the tortillas, roll it into a tight...ummm...roll(for lack of a better word)...and keep it rolled tight by using some toothpicks. Don't put too much into the tortilla initially or it won't roll up tight. When you're done rolling the taquito use a little more meat to stuff the each end. That way all the deliciousness won't be localized at the center of the taquito and all parts of the taquito will be enjoyable. You won't loose any cheese when you put it in the deep fryer, either. Just make sure it's packed kind of tight or else it will come out when you cook it. When they're ready stick them in the deep fryer and cook them until they're golden brown then take them out and let them drain on some paper towel. I think I usually cook them at 400o, but I don't really trust the temperature gauge on my deep fryer so I always just turn it all the way up until I know it hot. Since I'm never actually sure of exactly how hot my deep fryer is, I can't judge cooking times so I always just have to watch it until it looks ready. Fortunately, deep fryers don't really take very long to cook anything, so it's never too much of a problem.

Once they've cooled you can cut them in half and serve them with various sauces for dipping. I like to have a variety on hand that includes salsa, sour cream, guacamole, and a chipotle-honey sauce that I like to make. Okay, okay...don't be such a bug, I'll tell you how to make it...
Take a bbq-sauce(pretty much any will do) and add some liquid honey, lemon juice, hot sauce, and chipotle powder. Ta-da! You can get creative and add garlic, onion, or Cayenne pepper, too. I never really worry about measuring things out exactly when making sauces, though. Add everything to taste! ;p

So, like I said..easy as pie. Actually, much easier than pie. Pie requires an oven.

So I can tell that the format for this feature is going to have to change somewhat. I'm sure I could somehow make this all look much better, but this is a start, isn't it?! :) *lol* I just realized that my first cooking feature doesn't have a picture! Funny considering how many pictures of my meals I happen to have. Oh well...I'm sure I can get one. You'll all just have to wait.

As a final side note, I have decided to name my feature The Super Yummy Delicious Hour. This is in homage to my favourite video game. *Wonder if anyone knows what I'm talking about?* I was initially going to call the post "Craptastic - Things I Make At Home!" but May and Karloff didn't think it would help our readership. *Maybe I was just in a bad mood* ;)

Thus Spake Spidey-boy

I was digging through some of my writing odds and ends and I came across these quotations from Spidey-boy, circa 2007 (age 4), that I'd jotted down:

Karloff: “He’s always afraid of pulling up his zipper.”
May: “Ya, well, he doesn’t want to hurt his willy, I can understand that.”
Spidey-Boy: “If I zip up my wiwwy, I’ll get a robot wiwwy.”

Some other time:

Spidey-boy: “I’m trying to decide which one of you will bring my lunch upstairs. Whichever you does it the fastest is the strongest.”
Karloff: “Uh, are you trying to fool us into bringing up your dishes?”
Spidey-boy: “Yes.”
Karloff: "..."
Spidery-boy: “You’ll win a prize pack!”

scarlet motivation

Inspired by Laurie's post over on Chimaera Contemplations, but with little time in my work day to follow any sort of structured rules or quibbling about making sense, I've decided to create my own religion-related motivational poster out of one of my favourite biblical passages:

Monday, April 21, 2008

Last Friday's Exchange

Brownorangestripe, his gnarled orangutan fingers shuffling along a supporting branch, ascended with his two doe eyed charges. The exchange had been brief and for the most part pleasant, despite the unexplained presence of Loudfartsmallturd, one of his brood mates.

Still, Speaksoffood lingered a moment watching the two little ones fade into the treetop greenery. Finally, placing a hand on her belly, swollen with a sibling for the adventuring youths, she began shuffling over the stony ground towards the river and the rest of her clan.

With a glance towards the canopy where Brownorangestripe had disappeared, Loudfartsmallturd brought himself to his full height and let loose a staccato series of grunts at Speaksoffood, ending in a jungle stilling shriek.

“Lupatria!” The interloper cried, stepping from the pillared courtyard, his toga flaring as he exited the arch’s shadow into the wind of the street.

The plain was empty, Jude’s yell having vacated it of even bird song. Marion braced on the wooden bench and held what grip she had on the horses, muttering in soothing tones as Penny worked at lashing their harnesses. Thomas turned a fierce eye on Jude, but at a word from Penny, kept his position in the wagon.

After a moment Jude moved forward and once again began his trumpeting.

“Ya’ll figure you can run this show?”

“I have no interest in this conversation, Jude.”

“You think you can just get what you want!?”

Penny’s hands goaded the rawhide into place.

“You hear me, harlot?”

“This ain’t going to make the judge see any different, Jude, and this sure ain’t helping Joseph in the least.”

“You keep this up, Harlot, and somethin’s gonna happen!” Jude shouted.

The horses bucked and a rag doll, which Elizabeth must have left on the wooden bench, tumbled to the ground. Jude moved forward, but Thomas, with a calming word to Penny, stood down from the wagon.

I step from the car and BabyDaddy’s brother slams the door.

“Thanks?” I say, bending over to retrieve the spilled Yu-Gi-Oh! cards.

Having collected them, I pull the door open against the resistance of the interloper’s thigh. Opopanax, having finished depositing the kid’s car seats in the trunk, returns and props herself within the door’s arc to prevent its closing.

“You think you’re so smart, you won’t get away with this, things are going to get a lot harder from here on, things are going to happen.” He rants.

Opopanax waves me into the car, but for a moment I beg off.

“What? What exactly is going to happen?” I ask.
After a moment without an answer, I re-ask.
Still no response, and at a second coaxing from Opopanax I take my place in the backseat of our two-door hatchback.

Opopanax settled in and closed the door while BD’s brother assailed us with a storm of “cunts”, still unable to come up with any sort of meaningful dialogue beyond shouting down a pregnant woman through her car window.

It is then that he realized that May had located Opop’s phone and was capturing the altercation on video. His hand shot through the gap, clutching for the phone, even managing to briefly ensnare it. Opopanax moved quickly though, snatched back the phone before it cleared the car and transfered it to her distant hand. Eventually she was forced to toss it into the back seat.

Realizing his losing battle, BD’s brother changed tact. Locking his fingers around Opop's wrist he attempted to drag her out the half-open window.

Wrenching free of his grip, she urged May to exit the driveway. Reversing to the outer most cusp, we were held by oncoming traffic. BD’s brother took position in front of the car, a chorus of adjectives stapled to his repeated mantra of “cunt” breaking up long verses of threat against our persons and property.

For a moment Marion considers cracking the reins.

Finally, there’s a break and we slide into the flow of traffic. Taking stock, we regroup and make our appeal to the authorities.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The 7th Compoundian National Address

Here is the next show for your listening pleasure!


Included is our first ever audio comment! It's from our Interweb friend Bamboo Blitz. You should check out her blog. And look, I have provided you the said link for your viewing ease.
I can't get over the quality of her comment though lol! Great voice, great content, naturally entertaining. Yum! We need to put her on the payroll.

If you would like to send us an audio comment, please email your audio clips to

Also, for those of you waiting on Opopanax's cooking feature, you can send your audio complaints there as well. :p

the saddish future of youtubery

I suspect we'll be seeing a lot more of this in the future.

More information available where I originally found the video, on boingboing.

Monday, April 14, 2008


Expelled * Expelled * Expelled

Have you heard about that craptacular movie Expelled?
I'm just helping out with a little blogswarm.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Daisy's Doctor Doom Discussion

Daisy recently had a post collecting a number of opinions about Doctor Doom's bout of misogyny, and I thought I'd throw in a few random thoughts.

It's unfair to say that everything out of Victor Von Doom's mouth has been brilliant, far too many writers have shuffled him around for that, but: when the character goes off on a rant you should be able to expect the dialect of a modern caricature of an English feudal-era noble, not a fourteen year old The Hills junkie with mother issues.

Doom is a dick, sure, and growing up in the unenlightened nation of Latvia he may have picked up some antediluvian notions about women, but what if he'd said to Ms. Marvel:

"Slattern, I'll trade you to Azneka's Bordello for an afternoon ride if you do not heed my words."

Still misogynistic, but at least in character.

How about:

"Until recently you've only been remembered as the Shazam knock off whom Rogue stole her powers from."

Ouch. It hurts so much more because its true, and it doesn't have to descend into second-grader gender politics.

Doom's character hasn't stayed popular for forty years by lowering himself to useless invective or utilizing the mode of speech stylistic to the time, otherwise when he fought KISS you'd have gotten a whole lot of:

"Boss leather pants, jerkwads."

Lets face it, you can't take that villian seriously ten years later.

More info on Dr. Doom Vs Kiss, as well as the surrounding panels for the image I used, can be found at ferret press.