Friday, November 16, 2007

On Sleeping In The Middle

This is absolutely relevant to the post
and no I'm not just extremely tired and
willing to giggle at anything.

I'm not sure how it came about, but somehow I ended up being the one sleeping in the middle. This isn't always true, but when it's a matter of choice and not just nodding off halfway through Clash Of The Titans, I'm the chosen fender of elbows.

I've come to some observational conclusions based on my time in the trench, and I've come to impart them into the silence of the early morning intertron:
  • The only option is to spoon.
  • A few inches can mean the difference between a comfortable sleep and bluish limbs.
  • The XKCD bed is a good idea, but even just a runnel and not a full out hole would be handy. I find my shoulders grow sore from always being under some one's pillow.
  • Your spine has more elasticity than you'd expect
  • A shelf over the bed would be crazy handy. And a little snake light for reading. And some monkey bars to help me in and out of bed without accidental elbowing or deblanketing of nearby sleepers. Scratch that, actual monkeys to help me in and out of bed. (Quietly now, Mr. Chuckles.)
  • Its a lot warmer at the center, but you're restricted in how low you can push the blanket to cool. This would probably be really easy to break down into a equation, but you'd have to factor in blanket hogging. (I believe blanket hogging has something to do with chaos theory, you know that old chestnut: 'If May hogs a blanket on a cold November night, somewhere in Japan Jeff Goldblum is eaten by a velociraptor.')
  • We need a bigger bed.
Monkey Sleep Force One, Assemble!