May's Melolagnia

Installment Two: Formal Apology

I know. I'm a terrible person. I was supposed to have audio up monday. It hasn't been a lack of desire, trust me! I went to the best buy when we were in town but they were closed. Didn't they know we were coming? I will pick up a mic as soon as I can and it will be up!

Instead, I shall impart to you, yummy ear candy;


Brandi Carlile: The Story


Radiohead: House of Cards

Calling All Squeegees

The Ontario Government has authorized the production of a new solar 'farm' in Sarnia. It also pledged to buy solar energy for the next 20 years. Optisolar is California based company with executive ties to Canadian oil companies. Four sections of farmland totaling 900 acres have been purchased for the solar panels which will be up and running before 2010. The site and all included costs of this venture will be just shy of 300 million.

Sarnia's 'Chemical Valley' hasn't exactly always given the impression of 'clean' energy and chemical production. But the Ontario Government has offered to buy the clean energy for 42 cents per kilowatt-hour which was an offer Optisolar couldn't refuse. Sarnia too, borders Detroit, allowing for easy distribution to consumers. It also being the southern most part of Canada, allows for the longest daylight hours.

Other countries such as Portugal and Germany have similar sites, but this is by far the biggest photovoltaic solar farm that North America has ever constructed.

Molly Nix, Chapter 1: The Insomniac 001

Well. I've decided to try out a little experiment in writing a pulp serial for the site, if nothing else it'll force me to get a little bit written every week to keep the fires stoked. I've also enlisted the assistance of the wonderful Opopanax to read the pieces aloud, so here both in text and audio is the first instalment:



(More information on the audio version is available here.)

Molly Nix,

Chapter 1: The Insomniac, Part I

I’d just stepped down from the pharmacy stoop when Junior Reece slid his truck to a stop on the loose snow across the way. Junior was of fighting age, but he only had his right arm and was serving his country in a different way. Never slowed his driving though.

His engine stammered to a halt in front of Mr. McKelvie’s Bakery, and he was soon sauntering at me. I’d been on some down time, as was the nature of the business, and I’d just spent twenty minutes listening to an elderly gent who’d managed to box in one of Gordon Public School’s Marms between the baked goods and the crotch powders. Her bad luck, but mine too as she was also blocking the book rack, my only source in town, this being ’43, and I having hollowed out the library by spring of ’41. In the end I had to give him an accidental shoulder and held the gap while Mrs. Stanislaw made a break for it.

The pickings had been slim, and in all honesty the whole town was feeling a little mean. So I was actually glad when Junior said:

“Able and Schwerdtfeger got a long distance call, you need to get back to the farm.”

The phone was a bit of an extravagance given that everyone else in the county was waiting for peace and line men. Unfortunately, it was also pretty useless. Government operation or not we were on the same switch board as everyone else in town, and the ladies who ran it were chatty hens. Mail and couriers were generally where details came from.

“Did they say what it was about?” I asked as we started back to his truck.

“Able said to hurry and get packed for five nights in the cold, cold bed you’ll be carrying.”

I pressed Junior for more details on the way home, and when it became obvious he didn’t have anything more to give up, we both lapsed into silence. Junior never really talked of his own accord, although he’d match you word for word.

Leaving town and paved roads behind, we eventually slid into the long sloping double rut that was the farm’s drive. There were ten of us in residence then, with another ten living in houses within driving distance. You couldn’t see much of the buildings from the road, except the humblest side of the Van Der Veens’ place when the foliage was off the trees. The Van Der Veens were the folks who ran the 300 acres of land we used as buffer from outside interest, and in exchange they got to keep whatever profits they turned on the wheat. Neither they nor their son could say more than “Hello” in English at that point, but Junior, who’s story in town was that he was their farm hand, could swear up a storm in nine languages.

I was hoping everyone would be home when I got there, and I found Apple Juice eating a sandwich over the sink. Tom was at the table.

“It’s going to be that exciting huh?” I’d hoped they’d be around but it smelled of a low key vigil.

Welcome home kisses were exchanged and AJ offered me half of her ham and pickle.

“Something seems to have done in a family of five up north. No damage to them, no thrashing or anything… and nothing that looks like an outbreak.” Tom, was speaking as the voice of doom, but still trying to ease my mind at the same time. I hate virii. He had paused, but after a little cough he continued: “Seems to have been pretty quick though, they all went at the breakfast table.”

They talked off some of their anxiety, and then tried to talk off some of mine. I think I even brought up the idea of moving, although the idea was wiped out before I made it back. All too soon my duffel was packed and I was following the snow bank along the drive, as the sun dropped behind the trees. I was just starting to hope that the dark might force us to wait till morning when I saw Junior finishing a smoke on the porch wearing that goofy leather cap he’d pull on every time they’d let him fly.

A sure sign we were in a rush, but then again, they only bothered to call me when it was. I pushed inside to see Able and Schwerdtfeger.

PROCLAIM!

Hello passerbys, feel free to leave us a note when you stop in. We would love to hear from you!

- Resident Compoundians.

The Beginning of The End

Compound Breach

Brother and JLou (his fabulous lady) came out to the Compound this weekend. JLou just that night picked up her Wii! The most hilarious fun was watching both her and Brother punching rapidly and violently in the air, their arms slowly descending, fighting that deep urge to release their arms from the torment of rabid punchie punchie. JLou's short layered hair whipping back and forth in desperation. Maybe an hour of kick boxing before intense Wii play isn't such a good idea, but she still was able to beat brother half the time.

The following morning Brother, JLou and I were sitting around as he was playing my guitar. We started reminiscing about our old silly songs and video's we used to make together. In that spirit, he began playing guitar in several styles; classic Spanish guitar, bluegrass etc as we took turns adding verses and harmonizing with each other. The sound intense, but the subject ridiculous and dirty. So. Much. Fun!

We all piled in the car to drive them back to city later in the day. Brother treated us to some lovely sandwiches which even included a garlic thyme mayonnaise he prepared himself.

Jealous? You should be :)

Eeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Exciting news!!!

As you may have been aware, our little tribe has been making attempts to add another member. And finally, Opopanax is pregnant!! Our little muffin will be born on August 3rd, the day before her birthday :) How perfect is that?

Though she is entering her second trimester, there isn't much baby bump at all. Geeze. I thought second babies were suppose to show faster. But we can be patient. Speaking of patience, Karloff and Opopanax want to wait to know what the sex is. Crazy talk I say, but because I am extremely selfless, I can patiently wait too. And by patiently wait, I mean bug them only every OTHER day about finding out. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they are unaware of their want to know. And all I must do is convince them that I know best. Because I always do the end.

hehe

In all seriousness though, we do have one child of each sex, both 5, so whatever the luck of the draw deals us, we will be so flippin' happy. But since I know everything, it's a boy.


At Opopanax's doctor's appointment today she told her of our polyfidelitous lifestyle. The doctor was incredibly supportive and was very happy for us all because we seemed so happy. See, some people think more closed minded people live in the country. But for us, the opposite seems true. We have never been better looked after and more empathized with. We really feel a sense of community support here.

I'm really excited for Opopanax pregnancy. She has always worked her ass off to care for her child and now that we are together and she can stay home, it will be a wonderful time for her to just enjoy being pregnant.


We have other worries we will share with you soon that have been weighing heavily on us, but today is a day for celebration.






P.S. Opopanax is concerned that the Compoundian's will think that the baby picture at the top of this post is our baby. When in actual fact I just did a Google search to find a birthday baby, tying together both baby and its close proximity to her birthday. She also wants me to assure you that are children are super way cuter :P

Din Din at Ma's and respect, just a little bit.

So, ever since that bombed dropped, my mother and stepfather have been seeing us a lot. They showed up on our doorstep the other day. They decided that it was best that if they were going to suffer, we should be witnessed to the devastation.

And you know me, I'm all ABOUT empathy! Even as a Correctional Officer I never judged anyone who came to me. But to tell me your life is over, that everything you ever believed true is all now a lie. All because your daughter tells you something that you already KNEW?!

So, the units came over and we sat and had tea. After moments of head shaking, something would come spewing out of my mothers mouth. Hateful things, crazy things. She diagnosed us as a antisocial relationship experiment out in the woods. Even our children mean nothing to us. I wish people told me why I do what I do long before now. WHAT would I have done without her insight? She sees me once a month for supper, her diagnosis surely trumps my own.

So, after about an hour and a half of her ranting, she invites us for dinner the following night. Sounds like fun! hehe. So we went.. figured that more visits would show them how it works. Information, don't ya know, is the key to understanding. So we show up. Mom made what she thought everyone would hate, or at least most of us. Spite. But everyone thought it was most delicious :P. My stepfather was upstairs mostly. He sulks much more in a familiar place. That's why Brother and I like taking them out.

I don't know what their plan is. They don't really have one I would presume. Other than to cry to each other about how disappointing this all is. My Uncle suggested that I find a support group for her because surely in time she will understand how wonderful this is. When I asked her she said she didn't want to tell anyone because she was ashamed. Really, I don't know how people who think they have it all together would let anything in their lives destroy them so whole heartily. They are devote Christians and very well known in tight high ranking Christy circles. Doesn't that mean that they have a certain amount figured out?

Nope :p

Oh, did I tell you that Karloff WORKS for them? Doesn't it only get better the more I tell you?! :)

Seriously though, nothing could change my mind. Not due to stubbornness or blindness, it's the pure joy I feel when I am with my loved ones. It works better than I could have imagined and trust me, we talked about this situation long before we got ourselves into it. Just because someone wants to yell uneducated bullshit at my face won't change the truth. This is a subject that isn't well known and upon hearing it, some people get very defensive. I am not asking people to live this life, only to better understand it. There are billions of choices out there and just because our neighbour does it one way does not make it the right one for you. I just want respect.

Dr. Phil hurts me on the inside.

I was looking online today, searching through some blogs to find some relevant links for Pax. I did a search for polyfidelity. I found some really good articles and first hand accounts of the lifestyle. And then... I saw a post about polyfidelity and Dr. Phil. He did a show which included a mention of polyfidelity. No kidding? I thought. Dr. Phil is taking the word to the streets? Geeze, with coverage like that, we might really get some awareness out there and break the taboo. I had these hopes, until I read portions of the transcript.

This dude was trying to convince the wife who he was having an affair on, to allow his mistress into their relationship. Dr. Phil apparently said that according to the 'Dr. Phil Dictionary', Polyfidelity meant cheating. WHA??


That's a BAD Dr. Phil! Surely he knows the definition of Polyfidelity?! Why would he knowingly misinform the public? If I hate anything, it's disguising opinion for fact, ESPECIALLY when you have a national audience hanging of your every word and you know better.

That's it. He's dead to me. Just WAIT until he finds out.

May's Melolagnia

Installment One: PJ Dreams

One thing you would rapidly learn about me is my love of music. All sorts. I also love playing music. But I'm afflicted with this severe disdain for anything I produce. My emotion for the music and my desire for perfection makes it very hard for me to be objective. I want to do it and well, immediately. I do have some natural ability and training in singing, but I'm a-scared.

Karloff for YEARS has encouraged me to get back to the craft ever since I quit what little of the scene I was a part of for the birth of mini Karloff. I need to sit down, write some damn music and get out there and make some money. :) But it's been so long.

So! I have decided to post some stuff here. I'm getting my recording gear together and then it will be straight to your ears. And then hopefully I can get some feed back from the Compoundian's that will help me on my journey.

Whether or not music is recorded, I will have something posted, hopefully some audio, every week of my grand adventures. There is much to be relearned and it may just plain stink I warn you. Nevertheless, it will be entertaining :)














May's Song of the Week: Jeff Buckley's Satisfied Mind

Well, huh.

Wonder Woman is a fictional character, a DC Comics superheroine created by William Moulton Marston and one of the three characters to be continuously published by DC Comics since the company's inception in 1944. Marston's wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston, and Olive Byrne, who lived with the couple in a polyamorous relationship, served as exemplars for the character and greatly influenced her creation. Wonder Woman first appeared in All Star Comics #8, published in December 1941. She is a founding member of the Justice League.

Princess Diana is an Amazon from Greek mythology. Her name is reflective of the mythological character, Diana or Artemis. Her mother is Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons. When Diana leaves the Amazons to travel to the world outside, she is known as both Wonder Woman, and as Princess Diana. As Wonder Woman, she was awarded several gifts by the Olympian gods, including the Lasso of Truth created from the Golden Girdle of Gaea and indestructible bracelets formed from the shield Aegis. For several years she was described in the splash page of each story, as "beautiful as Aphrodite, wise as Athena, swifter than Hermes, and stronger than Hercules." - Taken from Wikipedia

In the end they've all lost

After some consideration, I've decided to take down the monster poll.

Looking at it every time I log into Pax has been a little hard of late...all things considered. It's no longer even a question of who's the better beast...just which one's being the worst at any given moment.

How depressing.

A devil's point of view

That last post reminds me of somethings I read last night from "The Screwtape Letters" by CS Lewis.....

"It is an unobtrusive little vice which she shares with nearly all women who have grown up in an intelligent circle united by clearly defined belief; and it consists in a quite untroubled assumption that the outsiders who do not share this belief are really too stupid and ridiculous. The males, who habitually meet these outsiders, do not feel that way; their confidence, if they are confident, is of a different kind. Hers, which she supposes to be due to Faith, is in reality largely due to the mere colour she has taken from her surroundings. It is not, in fact, very different from the conviction she would have felt at the age of ten that the kind of fish-knives used in her father's house were the proper or normal or 'real' kind, while those of the neighbouring families were 'not real fish-knives' at all."

Walls

Once we built walls. Brick and mortar to keep people out. Others were to be feared. They wanted to take your shit and you best be defending it.

After a while, we learned to trust. We traded, realizing that accepting difference brought many rewards. All needed was a general set of rules. Don't rape the woman, steal or stab each other in the throat.

Much time has passed, but figurative walls still remain. We fear what we don't understand. This primal need to preserve ones own idea of normal outweighs the reward to learn. We trade, but still only to reap rewards with a heavy heart to save them, because you must know the right way, and because their way is different than yours, it's wrong.

When will that next societal evolution take place? When we openly seek different and new things in each other without having to constantly weigh it against our preconceived notions. That there is no right or wrong way to do things. Just different ways.

Unhappily ever after?

Hey there people!

I was writing a new post for the other blog when it occurred to me that I was getting a little less pagan and a little too poly for that site

Of course, that is not to say that my lifestyle would be rejected within those circles, but only that I prefer to leave my more day to day thoughts on this site and leave that blog for more specifically pagan topics.

I was writing about the planning stages of our handfasting ceremony when I found myself getting off topic...

I had been searching the web for a simple handfasting rite that could be modified to accommodate three people, but that was also not too religious in respect of Karloff & May's beliefs. It was hard work to say the least.

What I found particularly odd was the amount of ceremonies I found that were specifically designed for couples in which one spouse was being married to another partner but the other spouse was not. I guess a lot of people must do it, but personally I would want to share my partner's entire life - not only the portion which they allocate to me. I would want (and am very lucky to have) a relationship with the other partner as well. That way I wouldn't feel like I was only sharing half their life. I can see how jealousy and insecurity would come into play if you felt like your partner had something with the other partner that you could *never have*.

I suppose it must work for some people. I'm certainly not going to discriminate because it's not my bag. I ask people to understand and respect my relationship even if they would not have chosen it for themselves. After all people ask all the time "how can your relationship work so well with three people?" To which I have to answer, " Well, how does yours work with two?"

I actually made an amusing observation today while scanning blogs and message boards that were discussing polyamoury vs. monogamy. I found the people who were most vocally against the subject were the ones who were married already and not wanting to have to deal with the "headache" of having another spouse! I found it rather funny that the people who were in unhappy relationships already were only focused on the negative connotations of a second spouse (more to have to clean up after, someone else hogging the sheets, etc.). None of them thought of the positive aspects of a second loving partner being added to the equation.

I thank the god & goddess every day that I have two loving, supportive people who are absolutely willing to help me with whatever endeavours I choose to undertake. More housecleaning? Nope, not here. We have three sets of hands now. Kids need to get ready for school? May gets lunches ready while I make breakfast and Karloff makes sure they get dressed. Easy!

Polyamoury is not the way to "fix" a relationship. Adding someone to your problems is not the answer. When you're (relatively) free of baggage, however, having another partner to share your life with can be soo rewarding!

*I feel soo lucky*

Pax Fanum

Despite the current craziness in our lives I have somehow found the time to begin a new pagan sister-blog for this site.

Pax Fanum is a new blog I've begun and can be found on Blog of Shadows (or in our link list). It will feature some of my more wiccan musings (of which I have chosen to leave out of Pax Compoundia). I urge anyone with interest or questions to check it out, regardless of faith or creed.

*I'm just hoping not to receive any flames*

I know I don't write a whole lot of posts on this blog anyway, but I'm sincerely hoping that this won't affect my posting frequency. Besides, I think Karloff & May would kick my ass if it did! ;p

Anyway....all are welcome to Pax Fanum.

Blessesd Be.

The Bomb

It dropped. My mother knows. Everything.

It wasn't my intention for it to happen as it did, but it happened just the same.

She thinks it to be a terrible idea, but she still loves me and wants to know I exist, including ALL of my family members. I can't ask for more than that.

I wish I didn't feel worse than before. But long-term, this was best. I'm not lying anymore.

We have some big plans for the site, a podcast and some weekly features. As you can understand though, things have been so heavy lately. BUT! We now have that brain space back for creativity and spreading the word.

Word.

Stupid Monster Poll!

Can't you subtract points?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

!!!!!!!!!BURN!!!!!!!!!

Family Christmas

One month and a few feet deep into the Canadian winter and we finally find ourselves completely settled into the compound. The hotel is an empty memory that still costs us $950 a month and a few shivers every time we think of it. We spent the 26th & 27th packing and moving the last of my stuff out of the apartment. Well, that's only half true. May & Karloff spent the 27th moving - I was sick and spent the day sleeping in the bathtub. Not recommended.

Karloff had been going crazy over his work. It would come like a killer in the night or in the wee hours of the morning, a phone call or the beep beep of a text message from his boss...

"Oh, could you just get this one thing done for me for ummm...tomorrow morning.? Thanks. And hey, can you change this whole thing around for me for, say, tonight? Thanks. Love ya!"

So night after night he would stay up trying to get his work done until finally...it's Christmas Eve and somewhere between work, obligations to family members, quitting smoking, threats of custody battles, heartbreaking family betrayals, and general holiday madness...the phone rings. It's Karloff's boss again. Oh, did I mention Karloff's boss is May's mother? Yep. So here's the deal - Come to mass with the family tonight ("Of course Opopanax can come!") instead of having your much coveted "quiet family Christmas" (ie. one where I get to be there) ...and Karloff can have the rest of the holidays off until January 5th!!!!

And that's not all folks! You'll also receive Jesus's eternal love & snacks at Mothra's house!


So that was a good enough deal for us and after a hectic and perilously dangerous journey into the city (which almost ends in a ditch due to the road conditions) we regrouped at May's mother's house for hors d'oeuvres (snacks).

Now, that all sounds lovely, except May's family doesn't really know anything about our family...so it's actually all quite awkward. We keep finding excuses for me and my daughter to show up at family events and May's family is soo open to us (which is really awesome)...but not being able to say I love you? No physical contact whatsoever? Misleading her family as to our situation? Not to mention we're engaged and going to have children!

So a few snacks/hours later we headed home to the compound and did our own Christmas thing. We opened our presents to each other since we wouldn't be able to do so at the family gathering at May's family's place the next day. The holiday feeling was brief, merely lasting for a few precious hours...but we were together and that was enough.

Christmas morning comes around and I get the message that my grandmother has been admitted to the hospital. May rushes us to the hospital where we're able to spend some time with her while she lays there, unconscious and unaware. It taints the rest of the day with her pallor. She dies the next day while I'm packing my apartment. The preceding day is mostly a blurr of sleep and sickness. I hold my grandfather's hand at her funeral the day after.

This holiday is about rebirth. The sun is reborn and the days only grow longer from here...